Critic of Music

The Formula

Each star will be given a rating on a scale from 1-10 (10 being the best). They will also be judged on their most recent tour. They will be judged on their ability to sell out in 2 key cities: London and New York. These two cities are the pinnacle of fame, if you can sell out a stadium in New York, you can sell out anywhere. The scoreboard works like this:

0 points for no date scheduled.

1 point for arenas 2.5K or less (Ex. Best Buy Theatre)

2 points for arenas 2.5-9.9K (Radio City Music Hall)

3 points for arenas 10K-15K (Wembley Arena)

4 points for arenas 15K-30K (Madison Square Garden and O2)

5 points for 30K and up (Yankee Stadium, Twickenham Stadium)

The artist gets their English score combined with their American score, for a total of 10 points possible.

The Exceptions

An artist does not get points if they play at a stadium for a festival, because not all of the people are going to see that specific artist. An artist can also get half a point added for selling out an arena of a larger size in a different city, but the same country. For example, Taylor Swift gets 4 points for selling out Madison Square Garden, but an extra .5 point for selling out Cowboy Stadium in Dallas, a 60K sporting arena. An artist can get an extra point for selling out the same venue consecutively, for example, Beyoncé gets 5 English points for selling out the 02 arena 6 times, for 120K tickets sold in total. Finally, the venue does not have to be in the city of New York or London itself, the Metropolitan Area is acceptable.

Now that that's set up, let's begin!!

Adele: Adele Live

America: 5 points (3 dates at Barclays Center)

England: 1 point 

Bonus Points: N/A

Total: 6/10

Beyoncé: Mrs. Carter Show World Tour

America: 5 points (3 dates at Barclays Center)

England: 5 points (6 dates at the O2)

Bonus points: N/A

Total: 10/10

Christina Aguilera: Bionic Tour

America: 3 Points

England: 0 points

Bonus Points: N/A

Total: 3/10

Demi Lovato: A Special Night With Demi Lovato

America: 3 points

England: 0 points

Bonus Points: N/A

Total: 3/10

Ellie Goulding: Halcyon Days Tour

America: 2 Points (Terminal 5)

England: 2 Points

Bonus: N/A

Total: 4/10

Florence + The Machine: Ceremonials Tour

America: 4 Points (Comcast Center)

England: 4 points (O2 Arena)

Bonus: N/A

Total: 8/10

Jessie J: Heartbear Tour

America: 0 points
England: 4 points
Bonus: N/A
Total: 4/10

Bonus: N/A
Total: 5/10

Lady Gaga: Born This Way Ball
America: 5 points (2 MSG, 2 Barclays Center)
England: 5 points
Bonus: .5 (Girl sold out Twickenham Stadium, TWICE)
Total: 10.5/10

Madonna: MDNA Tour
America: 5 points (Yankee Stadium)
England: 5 points (Hyde Park, 55K)
Bonus: .5 (Yankee Stadium, twice. I have never heard of an artist pulling 120K in New York)
Total: 10.5/10

Nicki Minaj: Pink Friday Tour
America: 2 points
England: 4 points
Bonus: .5 (for selling 8K tickets at the Lakefront Arena in New Orleans)
Total: 6.5/10

P!nk: The Truth About Love Tour
America: 4 points
England: 5 points
Bonus:.5 for her massive Australian leg (2 million tickets sold, pretty respectable)
Total: 9.5/10

Paramore: Paramore World Tour
America: 2 points
England: 4 points
Bonus: N/A
Total: 6/10

Rihanna: Diamonds World Tour
America: 4 points
England: 5 points
Bonus: .5 (Twickewnham Stadium, TWICE)
Total: 9.5/10

Taylor Swift: Red Tour (With Europe Date from the Speak Now World Tour)
America: 4 points
England: 3 points
Bonus: .5 (for her 53K in Dallas)
Total: 7.5/10

There you have it! Lady Gaga and Madonna excelled with an over-perfect score of 10.5, Beyonce in second with 10, and Rihanna and P!nk scoring third with 9.5. Thoughts, comments concerns? Honk your horn below!

OneRepublic's Junior set opened up at No.4 on the Billboard 200 with 60K sold, and has been modestly successful in other territories. It also holds a 63/100 on Metacritic, which indicated favorable reviews. But how well does the album shape up here? Check it out to see.

A super funky tune, and great album opener. It's starts off stripped down to acoustic guitars, before swelling into a sweeping, dangerously catchy piece.  "Lately I been, I been losing sleep / Dreaming about the things that we could be / But baby I been, I been prayin' hard / Said no more counting dollars /

We'll be, we'll be counting stars." A+

2. If I Lose Myself

A futuristic track, though not at as sonically advanced as Rihanna's last LP. It could definitely find its way on to a Coldplay album with ease. The first two tracks have done a great job at setting up euphoria for the rest of the album, though you're left wondering, "What genre am I listening too?" A-

3. Feel Again

Starting off with a heartbeat before growing into a full band arrangement, the song is carried by Tedder's light falsetto (the same could be said for the rest of the albums tracks). With the classic "oh-oh" hook, it's shocking that this song didn't take off. But that's okay, because it can remain as an unknown gem to the rest of the world. However, this song could have served as a superior album closer. A- 

4. What You Wanted

The first dud on the album. Nothing is super catchy like a true pop song, and nothing is lyrically stimulating like a true rock song. Thundering African drums make this feel like a lost track for the "Lion King" soundtrack. C

5. I Lived 

Vinyl static sets this one up for some diversity from the rest of the album. Well, for about 30 seconds. It quickly moves back towards the formula for the rest of the album. "Hope that you fall in love / that it hurts so bad" Seems like Tedder has taken after Adele here. B+

6. Light It Up

The Black Keys have arrived... I mean OneRepublic! A moderato track bolstered by a thick bass-line, before kicking into a B-Section. The B-Section doesn't rely as heavily on the strings, but Tedder's vocals would have found a home here. B

7. Can't Stop

The sunlight is gone, and is traded for some dark thunderstorms. Tedder has gotten some criticism for lacking emotion while singing, but his Frank-Ocean-esqué falsetto here screams heart break. It will be hard for this girl to deny that he "Can't stop thinking bout us anymore." A-

8. Au Revoir

The cellos here call back into mind there 2008 smash "Apologize." But this ballad is too heavy to be compared accurately to the latter. A notable change is that Tedder finally dropped the sky high notes for some darker bass tones, which is well appreciated. It's unfortunately not as interesting as the rest of its brother tracks. B-

9. Burning Bridges 

"I'm building bridges that I know you never wanted ... I want you to burn my bridges down." Ryan. What the heck are you talking about? It's nice to finally get some mixed belts out of him instead of just mid-range chest tones and towering falsetto (how many times have I said falsetto in this post?). It's kind of happy, but it's a bit sullen at the same time. This is more suited for watching a sunset than driving in the day, compared to the rest of the album. B+

10. Something I Need

Acoustic guitars? Really? They still exist? It's a bit shocking when you hear them at first, because the entire album so far has relied on tribal drums, background synths, and electric guitars. This one just relies on the first too. "If we've got nothing / we've got us." If Justin Bieber sang that line, you could guarantee that 10 million girls would faint within the blink of an eye. A-

11. Preacher 

The cellos return, the tribal drums finally make their exit, and the bass notes make a grand re-entrance, front and center. One of the few non-love songs here, and the song sticks true to the Christian formula, thanks to the gospel choir joining in mid-way. Whether you would hear it on Christian radio is debatable, but it's a simply stunning track either way. A

12. Don't Look Down

It's a nice album closer, but it's confusing at the same time. It doesn't add anything to the album, sadly it's kind of useless. C-

Overall, Native is an album filled with Tumblr-worthy lyrics, and euphoric single worthy tracks crawling everywhere. But there are two problems with this album: The first: is that you essentially listen to the same song 12 times in a row. But as long as its the same good song, it's a less horrific offense. The second: Tedder needs to start using his range more liberally, instead of using bass notes on some songs, and soaring falsetto on almost every track. He could actually carry a song without summoning his inner-soprano, but he chooses not too, which is quite irritating.

Vocals: C-

Lyrics: D-

Prodcution: C

Overall: D+

Kesha has had a hard year. Her incredible LP Warrior flopped with only 260K sold in the US, and C'mon became her first single to miss the Top 10 on the Hot 100. So, in a desperate attempt to revive her career, her label played the most overused card in the game: cheap remixes.

There are three popular remixes, the Will.I.Am remix, the Juicy J remix, the Pitbull remix and the original. She has previously enlisted Juicy J  on one of the many remixes of her unpromoted Sleazy. All of these versions are (shockingly) placed at the max price of $1.29 on iTunes, which is different than the past uses of the remix tactic (IE The One That Got Away and Tonight I'm Getting Over You).

Which version reigns supreme?

The Will.I.Am Version:

It is truly magical how Will.I.Am can ruin an incredible pop gem with just one verse of disgustingly thoughtless, irrelevant lyrics. "She put boobs in my face and now I'm really seeing doubles." With lyrics like these, sorry Will, no one is going to want to be near you, let alone get that intimate with you. F


The Juicy J Remix

Okay, we're moving into better territory. This isn't half as appalling as Will's version, though you still might produce a dry heave. D+



The Pitbull Remix

Shockingly, Pitbull put out the best verse, yet his introduction is still as terrible as every other Pitbull rap (He's talking about mustard and ketchup. Lets pretend that never happened). Well, at least his verse actually discusses being a crazy kid, compared to the other rappers complete misses. C+





To put it simply, the Will.I.Am remix should be banned from radio stations across the globe and should never be discussed in public. The Juicy J remix should only be spun at Rhythmic Radio, and be discussed by hard core Kesha and Juicy fans. The Pitbull version should probably avoid radio stations and conversations, though far worse things could be spun. The original however, should be illegally broadcasted across all radio and television stations simultaneously.